This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Ah Thanksgiving, the just passed holiday that I assumed we were finally done talking about yesterday. Turns out, it seems that there is one more topic left to be mined from the subject and this is a great one. So this particular gym was crowded on Thanksgiving which led to Angi throwing all sorts of shade. There was a 78 year old guy (see, fixed that error from my call in,) and he wanted to use a specific machine. However, there were two sisters working out on it and he grew impatient at having to wait. Finally having had enough, he just went and sat down on the one girl and proceeded to push the other away when she tried to remove him. Either way, grandpa is more than likely going to jail for this mess. While pondering what he should be doing because he's almost 80, whittling wood, going for a walk at the mall and drinking prune juice were all offered as alternatives. All this talk about the gym triggered a walk down memory lane for Angi (as well as several other topic related detours.) First there was an evolved into PSAngi about the older woman who has her leg up and is using the locker room as a place to blow dry her raggedy old gray bush. Abe added that guys do the same thing all the time with their saggy old balls. Another almost PSAngi&Abe came in the form of not needing to be naked in the locker room. Angi and Abe, they are in and out of their clothes so fast that you would think that they're Clark Kent. After all, Angi doesn't feel she has the proper body to be naked but she would if she did ... well, no she wouldn't (yeah, it jumped like that.) Also, don't shower at the gym, do what these two do and go shower at home. This way you're not opening yourself to getting foot fungus in the showers (and accidentally letting people see the Abeaconda drag across the floor.) Also, you're not at home so stop cutting your toenails and shaving in the locker room, you pigs. On the phone, Mark chimed in to discuss a time when he was walking past the showers on his way to the changing room. This particular time there was a guy within that was swinging his junk around. This led to Abe offering some revelations about Abe taking art in high school instead of gym. He had a working assumption that all people are pedos (I think he still thinks this.) Angi just can't grasp why it is that boys bathrooms are like this lack of privacy hellhole. Like why are there no doors on stalls or curtains on the showers. Mark, who was still on the phone for whatever reason, added that it's because men just don't care. The worst though is urinals because guys need to press themselves against it. This was the last point where Angi was adamant about showcasing that all guys look even though Abe says they don't. It is her show though so I'm going to stick with her assessment.
All the Rest:
Somewhere along the way yesterday while recapping all the things that happened while Angi & Abe were away, we overlooked something ridiculous. You see, Angi got yet another ticket at O'Hare but this was not caused by her driving onto the runway due to her blindness or for disorderly conduct for being drunk in the back seat of the car. In fact, the ticket wasn't even her fault, which is a nice change of pace. The honor of causing the ticket goes to Jay the Straight, who is receiving his weekly drag for doing something wrong. That's right, poor and forever suffering under Angi's iron fist rule Jay the Straight was the culprit in what I assume was an attempt to get his wife shipped off to jail. What happened that caused this ticket involved screwing (calm down) of screws or in this case, not having them do their proper job. This $60 ticket probably shouldn't have existed though, as the car was pushed into the wall and they shouldn't have seen the missing plate. Abe was completely taken aback by all of this as he feels that the ticket givers shouldn't even be allowed in the O'Hare parking lot to get their hands on poor cars like Angi's. This isn't the first (or the last time) that Angi has been mistreated there by the way. Angi's car has been booted there twice before and getting it off requires a trip to the third circle of hell. Though I could get the idea of greed with the boot, I don't understand how gluttony plays in but sure let's go with it. So when booted, your car is taken to a place and you are literally sitting there for 4 hours waiting to have it removed. This could more than likely be resolved rather easily by just taking an Uber Abe added but she just does not want to deal with it. When she gets in, she just wants to go home and get back on the couch. After Abe exclaimed that he hates the orange envelope (added to the list,) Angi explained she paid the ticket online and proceeded to tear it up live on air. This parking nightmare ended with Abe being anxious about the future because there is currently free parking by The Ivory Tower but he is sure that meters will magically show up one night and take it away someday.
Now normally I rag on Angi for everything because, well because it's funny. However, I will finally give credit where it is due because Angi had a ridiculous dream that ended up giving us a word that does not exist (and she should probably trademark before someone steals it.) After passing out in what I'm assuming was some kind of brown liquor haze, Angi had an incredible dream. She was at a stand up comedian workshop attempting to learn how to become one. On stage was some jobber who spent most of his set pandering to the people in the back (PSJay: No one cares about you if you're in the back.) This is where the yelling came in because the onstage comedian was "farthing," aka reaching for the back when the focus should be the front. "You're farthing, stop farthing," they yelled and with that, we saw the birth of Merriam-Webster's 2022 Word of the Year. Sure it was a dumb throw away dream but her ability to salvage something amazing like this from it shows the true power of a creative mind. Good on her for contributing to not only the conversation but also society. Not to be outdone, Abe also had a dream but his was more fitting of our Gay Tuesday theme. He dreamt he was going to take a picture with The Rock. However, the dude who was taking the picture started to discuss Memphis and his rambling was holding up the picture from being taken. In the end, Abe did not get his picture but when he woke up, he discovered that the Memphis story was leaking in from the real world. He had fallen asleep listening to Jim Cornette's podcast and his dream was being shaped around the narrative that was occurring within it. That's actually a really cool and interesting thing that happens to me fairly often and I love seeing the blend of imagination interpreting what it's hearing from the outside. That said, Abe was pretty upset that he didn't get to take his fake picture. Also, Dana White was there as well for some reason, probably because he knew it was Gay Tuesday.
Finally, the other day a group of 90 people drinking at a pub ended up getting stuck there for 3 days with the Oasis tribute band Noasis. It seems that they were in a remote location and when a massive snow storm came, it dumped enough to bury the place to the point of no escape. Luckily, there was an inn next to the pub so pillows and blankets were able to be passed out. Since they were stuck there for the time, the band had to keep things lively. They played more sets, did karaoke, and just had a great time. There is clamor for the band to change their name to Snowasis now but all this fun had Angi itching to have a question answered. Let's assume you're stuck in a pub or a bar for the weekend (it doesn't matter the reason, buy into the fantasy okay.) You get to choose a band (or artist,) dead or alive to hang out with, who would be the best to have trapped in there with you? Abe would love to party with Pantera because it would literally be just non stop eating, sleeping and partying. Like they are the kids of partying and Abe could not think of anything better to do then lose himself with them. Plus it's all guys so I mean that makes sense. As for Angi, she wants to be knee deep in old school Mötley Crüe. They would have been doing heroin, there would be a stripper pole and girls galore. I can totally see this being a better party solution than Abe's Pantera mess. Tracy called to mention that she would want to be trapped in England during the 60's with The Beatles. After a long weekend some people are bound to fall in love and hook up and Tracy is hoping it would have been Paul McCartney. Best party, he might end up even writing a song about her down the line and the moments they shared together. Andrew called to say he agreed with Abe that Pantera is the only correct answer because they seem to have a good time. Ethan picked Pink Floyd but Abe assumed that they would be attempting to kill each other. Angi, on the other hand, said they'd probably just be high the whole time so it would be great. Sherry wants to party with Aerosmith of the yesteryear. She would totally hook up with 70's Steven Tyler if given the chance. Chad wants to hang out with The Rolling Stones because it would be three days of hits and blues covers (this is the perfect answer imo.) Gary wants his time spent being covered in Faygo as he parties with Insane Clown Posse. Hearing this, as a woman, Angi would have dug a way out for herself immediately. As for my choice, it would be Tori Amos (because it's Gay Tuesday and I love her) because I think she would be fascinating and she'd be fun to talk and listen to. That or more rock related I'd say Kings of Leon because I bet they'd be fun drunks and have a ton of great songs/albums.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Abe (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Olivia) Song Choice: "How I Could Just Kill a Man"
Abe's (repping Paulie) Song Choice: "I Miss You"
Observation:
In an ironic twist, Abe was griefing Angi for picking a cover song (seeing as he got his 7th win with a cover.) In turn, Angi called Paulie a crybaby jobber bitch. Even though he has a new girlfriend, he can't get over his ex. Olivia on the other hand would love to kill her ex. In an even further step, Angi revealed that she hates Paulie and told him to stop listening. Mind you, this came after Abe's wacky narrative started to come undone.
Winner: Angi
10 o'ClockToast:
Channing Tatum. On this Gay Tuesday we learned that he's returning to and producingMagic Mike: The Last Dancefor HBOMax.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"If he (Jay the Straight) bragged to me about his fantasy football wins, I'd move out." - Angi
PSAbe: $100 million dollars for a coach and you can't pay your (college) players.
PSAngi: I'm disgusted with the caliber of our strip clubs.