This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
In a throwback I'm assuming (shut up, I'm making it about me for a second for once!) that Angi pulled from my countless mentions of it, she has developed the desire to live inside of the mind of Abe Kanan. It would just be for a day as I assume anything further would cause an unmendable fracture to her psyche overall. This all came about early in the morning while Abe explained his want to become Angi for a day and have a bunch of lesbian experiences. However, it really went further when Angi found herself on the watching end of Abe eating an orange this morning. In Abe's defense, he had to burn through the orange while Def Leppard's "Rocket" was playing. Now, let me paint you a mental picture of how it looked when he ate this orange. It was essentially akin to a bomb exploding and just leaving a mess everywhere. He tore at it with his hands like they were claws or talons and then he proceeded to eat it like an apple. Juice was going everywhere, it was a big, juicy, messy affair (and will be on his OnlyFans page later today.) According to Abe, this barbaric (and insane) way of devouring this piece of fruit is his normal way of doing it on the streets. Okay pause, who is actually out eating oranges on the street? Though Angi loved the fragrant smell of orange filling up the studio, it also left a juicy mess all over and forced Abe to wash his hands. She likened this whole experience to watching someone open a Kit-Kat and just bite right into it without breaking it. She briefly questioned if Abe is actually a serial killer but that was to be explored later because Angi needed to know if any of the roadies know anyone who eats things in a weird way? Abe ironically knows two people who eat things in weird ways because of course he does. He knows one guy who likes to eat his chicken wings upside down. Another guy he knows eats his pizza like a weirdo jobber. He takes all the toppings off the pizza and eats them with a knife and fork and then eats the crust last. Angi was not into this but she then went after cereal people who put milk in a bowl before the cereal goes in because she hates fun. This led Angi to question if she's nuts and also led to a bonkers part of the segment where Abe decided he wants to become Angi but be a lesbian (we eventually get back on topic.) It started with Angi wanting so badly to have Abe strap a GoPro to his head so she can see a day in the life of Abe Kanan. It would just be fascinating to watch the eating, see the characters he gets into scheming with and of course, him avoiding his girlfriend Cathy Tropicana when she comes over (I added that last part but come on now.) In turn, Abe wants to switch bodies with Angi for a day but he would need to be holed up at a hotel. He's not looking to get banged by Jay the Straight and doesn't want him kissing him goodnight. What Abe really wants though is access to Angi's lesbodex, a rolodex just filled with lesbians that he assumes she has. Like, who are her best lesbians and does she have any on deck. Right, so now that the madness is behind us for ten seconds, let's get to the phones finally. Head Roadie Frankie talked about how he worked with a guy who would buy Peanut M&M's and then separate them by color and eat them. This was a learned behavior from his dad who Abe added to his hate list this morning. Another of our favorite roadies Michael Scott checked in to discuss how his brother used to go to sushi bars, put all his food on one plate and just go to town. Head Roadie Kyle had dated a girl in high school where he went to dinner at her house once to have a chicken dinner. He ate his as one normally would and the rest of the family ate theirs with a fork and knife. Christian also called in to say that Abe is nuts (guilty as charged) and that his late grandmother used to eat chicken wings, bones and all.
All the Rest:
In a "Angi is truly losing it these days" instance that occurred twice (but was only mentioned once on air,) Angi sent the photo for On This Day to the wrong person by accident. The text was sent to her friend Lil' Ang and because it was an old pic that was out of context, Angi felt kind of silly. The assumption is the wrong recipient just thought "what is going on with that girl?" I could mention what's going on but I enjoy actually keeping my fingers. Her assumption is that this girl will now think that she was thinking of her but the reality is so much simpler, Angi is just absent minded. She also does this a lot with Jay the Straight where she accidentally ends up texting Abe instead. Given that this was out in the world, Abe read the text out on air (and I want to goof on it somehow at some point.) Abe's response to all this is that you got the wrong mfer! which makes a ton of sense in a non rational way. However, Angi clarified that she actually had intended to send that salacious text to Abe. This was a fun little dip into the pool before the rest of the morning was swallowed up by tons of Thanksgiving talk. Speaking of which, that boring ass holiday is next Thursday and honestly, everyone is shocked that it's already here. More shocking though is the fact that we've essentially lost two years now and nothing feels any different. We still have covid and masks are still a thing. It's weird to consider how it was like a normal thing in China for so long and now it's the norm here but the complete 180 it also did from being disgusted by seeing people wear masks to never considering leaving without one is also nuts. Anyway though, Thanksgiving, let's dig into it a little bit shall we?
So as I've mentioned several times, Thanksgiving is next Thursday and well, there might be some boiling up anxiety that is going to come from that. That anxiety mostly stems from having to hang out with your family. For Angi, there's also a huge hint of jealousy because some people have cool families and they're still anxious about hanging out with them. However, one of the perks that comes from these gatherings is wacky videos that you try to keep people from seeing. For example, Angi has a video from last year's Thanksgiving of her straddling her mom's husband's Corvette. While her cousins we're "going for a walk" out in the garage and enjoying some smoke, she hopped up on the car and started doing her best Tawny Kitaen impression. She's wearing ripped tights and you can see her crotch (which probably is not covered by panties and is why we had to post it to her secret OnlyFans.) Outside of this occurring, basically what occurs over at her mom's house is a bunch of drinking all day and gambling all night. Also, there's almost guaranteed to always be a fight. With that point finally gotten to, Angi wanted to know who it is the roadies will be getting into a fight with at Thanksgiving this year. For Angi, the obvious choice is her sister because she owes her a ton of money and has no intention of paying her back ever it seems. Nikki was first out the gate to say she's throwing down with her mom this year. She and her boyfriend have been together for a few years and her mom continues to insist that they get married. Whenever the family does it, it tends to just prolong the want to do it. Abe believes that they want to stuff her inside of the marriage misery box like the rest of them. As for Angi, she thinks that the mom just wants grandbabies. Angi said that she should just have one out of wedlock to really drive her nuts. Her drink of choice by the way is an apple martini. Derrick picked his girlfriend's dad who gave him crap because he has a beard and the last time he saw him, he demanded that he had a clean shaven face. This bucking of authority led Derrick to be blessed by the ticket fairy. Over on Twitter, Jessica offered up her cousin Melanie because she got into an accident with her car last week which means her insurance will go up. Well, that's a valid reason for an ass beating.
Finally, Abe is not a fan of Thanksgiving, which is something we learned before but he reiterated this morning. For him, the turkey can go in the trash as he'd rather get 2 for $6 Whoppers instead. So, Abe hates turkey and guess what, 74% of people tend to agree with him. It should be noted that these people though would rather have an all sides Thanksgiving as opposed to a Whopper fantasy. Abe mentioned though if he's being forced to eat turkey, he expects it to be deep fried. Furthermore, the turkey slices that are being deep fried need to be deep fried separately. Right, moving along, here's a list of sides people would rather have. Abe jumped up for mashed potatoes and he was on top of the list with others who decided they are the best. Stuffing was in second place but that became a mixed bag when concerning Angi & Abe. She loves stuffing and Abe just finds it meh. Abe feels like most/all stuffing tastes like everyone is eating stuffing at Old Country Buffet (I know you're thinking what but just keep thinking that.) Angi says that she has stuffing more than once a year and followed up by saying she hasn't had it in years (it was one of those mornings.) Angi would have it more often but she doesn't have enough time to make it. I know you wish I would get on with the rest of the list but Abe went into a tangent about why he hates turkey. He's mad because people call it "the bird" and that infuriates him. Like if people started referring to burgers as "the cow," he would probably give them up as well. In fact, if a fish comes out and it stil has the head on it, Abe is just not having it. Okay as for the last of the beloved sides, mac & cheese and green bean casserole fill out the list. For the record (pretend to be shocked,) Angi & Abe both hate green bean casserole. Abe's new thought for Thanksgiving is to turn it into a BBQ where burgers and brisket are served. Another Thanksgiving annoyance because yeah we're back on that again, is the guy who carves the turkey. This is a dragging of Angi's mom's husband Bruce by the way. Abe doesn't understand why people want to carve the turkey, why is it such an honor. Angi was mad too because her mom makes an amazing bird that is grilled and marinated but the carving falls to Bruce. Then again, it's probably not a smart idea to hand Angi's mom a knife.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Abe (Streak: 2)
Angi's (repping Debra) Song Choice: "Pardon Me"
Abe's (repping Winston) Song Choice: "Eat the Rich"
Observation:
Abe only picked his player Winston today because he liked his name and then we went down memory lane to discuss beloved arcade gameRevolution X. Winston it seems is a jobless jobber and Debra needed the rub because she's an amazing person who works at a non profit. It sounds like a real winner vs loser scenario here but with both these songs, I feel like no one truly wins.
Winner: Abe
10 o'Clock Toast:
John Mayer. Something about doing coke with Angi off a ballerina bar while he wrote "Your Body Is a Wonderland'' about Jennifer Love Hugetits as he stood on Jerry Garcia's corpse. That or he responded to a Taylor Swift stan who came for him.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I'd call up all the girls. 'Hey, you wanna do some lesbian stuff?'" - Abe
"I think old people were known for eating bones like that back then." - Abe
PSAbe: Hey dads, don't do creepy stuff with you kids.
PSAngi: Don't do stupid lines unless they're stupid lines of coke.