Abe

Abe

Abe Kanan was born and raised on the south side of Chicago and grew up hanging out at Metro, Aragon, Riv, and all of Chicago’s music venues, checking...Full Bio

 

Two Male Lions Consider Opening a Summer Camp - ATS - 6.24.24

Close-Up Of Lions Against Black Background

Photo: Laurent Dambreville / EyeEm / EyeEm / Getty Images

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)

Monday morning is here and as we dive into the last week of June, it seems that the roadies got into the good stuff this weekend because the texts were off the chain. If you want to hear about pegging, discovered sex tapes and some kind of girl on girl action, check the podcast but in the meantime, I'm going to talk about the Daily Discussion Topic. Apparently, adult summer camps are all the rage suddenly (probably because we're overworked, underpaid and need to get away back to simpler times) so we attempted to configure what our camp would need to make it a hit. As is, there is a camp for 20-40 year old women in the Poconos that cost $300 for a three day retreat. Angi sees something like this as a way to get away from family and work but when she saw what they were doing, she balked. Instead of drinking, doing drugs and doing more drinking, these women are ... picking plums, horseback riding, playing tug of war, doing yoga, making smores and taking cooking classes. Angi doesn't want any of that nonsense and she is seeking something more akin to three months of spring break and partying, not whatever the hell this is. She expects three months of Cancun and instead they want her to pick plums, yeah no. For that reason the question posed turned into what the roadies would want at their men's and women's only summer camps? Marris said he would need all the American Gladiator obstacles, including The Eliminator. Watching people beat each other up with pylons and tearing their ACL's is just what would make camp actually camp. As for Angi, she needs wine everywhere. No tap water, just wine. Add in a nail technician, a masseuse, a spa and basically Angi is creating a spa on the lake as her summer camp. Of course, she's not getting in the lake though because there would be a pool with hot guys who are on lotion detail. Honestly, though it sounds like she needs rehab more than anything else, this is her fantasy and we just live in it. Over on the Request Line, Dana wants an actual normal summer camp only there is just booze absolutely everywhere. Amber wants a really inebriated camp with things like growing your own pot plant, how to roll a joint and of course, making your own wine. Angi would be open to learning how to make edibles but is steering clear of the cannabutter as it once almost killed her. Getting turnt on brownies was a one time thing that she does not want to revisit. Head Roadie Crüe Fan said he just needs weed and mushrooms at his camp so he can party with the aliens and bigfoot. Steven called about wanting battery operated toys. Joel said skinny dipping and tons of booze. Ken said instituting shot time instead of arts and crafts would be ideal. James wanted a prime rib station and an international lap dance station. Throw in a cognac bar and posters of Angi everywhere and he would be set. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.

Other Stuff from Today's Show

Seeing as this show felt like we (and the roadies were on drugs today,) it seems perfectly fine that the rest of today's topics fall into a mixed hodgepodge of nonsense. For example, Angi gave us a crash course in women decoding so next time they use one of these phrases, us men will know what is really up.

"I have a boyfriend" - Translation: She's not interested because she actually has a boyfriend or you are not her type.

"Sure, I'll give you my number" - Translation: It might be fake. Marris found a way around this though by taking a phone, putting his number in and then texting or calling to make sure it calls him. Angi immediately assumed Marris was a psycho for doing this.

"You're such a good friend" - Translation: Welcome to the friendzone, population you.

"Loud Bedroom Noises" - Translation: She's faking it because she is over it and does not want to hurt your feelings. Just be done with it.

"I'm busy this week, I'll be in touch" - Translation: She's not interested in what you're selling.

"I'm fine" - Translation: She is not fine but does not want to talk about it. Angi will look for different ways to say this like "I'm good."

"I have a headache" - Translation: The only one Marris didn't nail (pun intended,) this means she does not want to have sex.

Next up, we explored places survey takers offered up that they wish were open 24/7. More than half of those polled said they wanted supermarkets to fall in line with this idea. 30% said their primary care doctor because after all, accidents can happen at weird times and emergency rooms suck. Oh, your lungs fell out, that'll be another 6 hours before you can be seen. 24% of people want a post office open and we don't get it. Angi can't remember the last time she set foot in one and Marris needs stamps but not that bad. 24% also said the bank, which is wild as there are apps for that kind of stuff now and ATMs are a thing. 19% said a dentist which if you have horrible pain in the middle of the night would be ideal, especially when you have to schedule an appointment and that could take months. Marris offered that urgent care should probably be expanded to help with these kinds of issues. Also listed were auto and shop mechanics as Marris has gotten flats at like midnight and Angi is the queen of losing tires. Calling AAA is nice but like the ER, that takes like 5 hours. The thing is current operating hours don't meet most needs as we tend to work 9 to 5 so it's hard to squeeze into the open frames. As to what Angi and Marris wanted, he was looking for an all day liquor store because you never know when you need whiskey for your work wife and or Angi wants 24 hour dispensaries because sometimes her glaucoma hurts and she needs "Gas Station Sushi" to remedy it.

Finally, Comedian Craig Gass stopped into the studio this morning to discuss his shows this weekend at CG's Comedy Club. Here's some highlights of what was discussed:

- Will be at CG's Comedy Club this weekend.

- Is a known master impressionist.

- Angi discussed her love of his episode of Sex in the City.

- His first scene involved an act with Miranda which took 19 hours to film.

- She had a uh "physical reaction" to his head being between her legs.

- He knew this because take after take the uh "pleasant smell" got stronger.

- After filming, she got knocked up that weekend, dumped her man of 13 years and became a lesbian.

- He is a personal friend of Angi's who she has known for a long time.

- His ability to do voices comes from his mom, dad and sister being deaf.

- Did his Tracy Morgan, Christopher Walken, Adam Sandler, Gene Simmons and Baba Booey.

- The weirder the voice, the easier it is to do.

- His show is full of impressions and stories.

- He pissed off Gene Simmons at a roast and was confronted by him.

- He keeps getting private Gene Simmons stories.

- He opened for Metallica after a prank call.

- He talked about pranking Lars Ulrich.

Request Wars 3.5

Theme: Big Strong Vocalists

Current Champion: Marris (3x)

Angi's Song Choice: “Jet City Woman" by Queensrÿche

Marris' Song Choice: "Going Under" by Evanescence

Winner: Marris

10 O' Clock Toast:

Toastee: A 71 year old Ms. Texas USA participant

This was a preliminary round for the Ms. USA pageant and this very cute old lady competed with over 100 other women. She wanted to rep women of all ages, sizes and races. She was there to break barriers and give Angi fodder to dump on the women around iHeart to call them messes at 26.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"Posters of me, you don't want that. People would run away." - Angi

"My weekend was good, there was no pegging." - Angi

"Jesus Christ died at 33, right?" - Angi