Abe

Abe

Abe Kanan was born and raised on the south side of Chicago and grew up hanging out at Metro, Aragon, Riv, and all of Chicago’s music venues, checking...Full Bio

 

You Get a Desk and No Money, Deal? - ATS - 6.20.24

Employment agreement

Photo: aluxum / E+ / Getty Images

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)

It's another day in the heat dome and we are just attempting to chug along and not drop dead from a combination of overheating, underperforming and melting into a puddle like that witch (not Angi, the other witch.) Anyway, it's hot out and it seems like maybe an office offering up some nice industrial air conditioning might be the perfect way to lure people back into the office. That is perfectly centered on the point this morning about the incentives companies are finding themselves throwing out to make people decide the comfort of working at the office is so much better than the amazing comfort that is working at home. They are pulling out all the stops and offering crazy perks like high end coffee, yoga classes, gym memberships and even DJ parties (you, can we get Disclosure to come play at the iHeart building?) Well, the new hotness when it comes to tricking err convincing people the office is where they want to be is giving an employee a desk. See, "hot desking" was a hot new trend before the world went to hell. Much like a hotel, you would check in and grab a desk which meant that every day brought forth a new surprise. Modern communal adapting made sense in the world before covid but now, people are used to being stationary at their houses. However, there are times where they need to move around for whatever reason and so offices got the bright idea to rewind the clock and give back a desk. Stellar thoughts here leaders, just incredible. Now, we asked our resident desk hopper Marris, who has 47 jobs and once we shut this trainwreck of a showdown, he goes to a communal desk. He personally hates it because everyone at the station knows which desk is technically "his." He has a stand, stuff in the drawers and it's usually covered in food. Still, people like to take it because they are monsters and can't help it. So now he's fighting for his own spot back, this absolutely makes sense in his headcanon. While he would love his own desk, it seems for the moment pizza party Friday is the best iHeart has to offer. Angi chimed in that maybe offering babysitting could be beneficial but added that the time you see the most employees circling the studios like buzzards is when someone drops a spread of food and they consume it like it was their last meal. So if you're wondering about our list of demands, Angi said desks, money and then food. Mostly money though but let's face it, she consumes most of the budget....

Other Stuff from Today's Show

Onward, we had a learning lesson today in that old timey slang that was once hip, got outdated and is now back. These are a few of the terms you need to start using when you feel like spicing up a conversation.

"Gigglemug" - A person who smiles too much and or has a constant grin. This is apparently the opposite of resting bitch face or as I call it, how Angi looks all morning.

"Saucebox" - I know you assumed that this meant Angi when you first read it aka an alcoholic but it actually is a term for a mouth. Example, "shut your saucebox!"

"Arf Arf Arf" - This is British slang for someone who is too drunk or as people in the streets yelled when Angi walked by on her London vacation "arf arf arf!"

"Pumblechook" - Slang based on a character from Great Expectations, this is someone who is pompous.

"Gas Pipes" - Someone whose pant legs are too tight, get out of her with your skinny jeans!

Up next, during On This Day, we heard about a Florida man who lost it after being told to shut his saucebox. The karaoke reveler was so mad that the patrons of Kennedy's Tavern shut down his blood shot eyed singing feat, he pulled out a concealed machete. He eventually handed it over and was arrested but the dude seriously loved some karaoke and so his absolute upset turned into our Daily Discussion Topic. While Marris was stuck for a moment on where the machete was concealed and assumed it couldn't be down his pants (Florida is notorious for idiots Marris so like, I'd assume it was down his pants.) He said that he kept it on him so he could stay alert and always protect himself. Anyway, the bar turned his mugshot into a flyer for their new open mic night. Weirdly enough, we never got an answer about what Angi and Marris would belt out though Angi had an excuse. She explained that she needs to be wasted as she can't sing to save her life and even then, peer pressure needs to be enabled to make her sing (challenge accepted bitch.) Also, she would drag up someone with her because if the ship is going down, someone is going with it. As for myself, I'm rocking "Interstate Love Song" by Stone Temple Pilots. Right, let's get to the "delayed" singing from some roadies on the Request Line. Tammy's is "Hey Mickey" but the last time she went was precovid. Randy picked "Mary Jane's Last Dance." Lawrence used "Sweet Home Chicago." Mike was all about "Wanted Dead or Alive." Chris used "Living on a Prayer." Shawn's was "Bad Habit" by The Offspring. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.

Finally, a woman in Iowa got cold feet in her decision to go out with a guy she met on a dating app. It was all going well and she sent him her address at the last minute and so she did the logical thing. She called the cops and said her ex boyfriend was outside and threatening to stab her and her unborn baby. The cops came, questioned the guy, put two and two together and when they talked to the woman, she admitted she made it up. Obviously falsifying a 911 call is a crime and she was arrested. What we had to ponder was whether telling someone "no" was scary. Like if you're so hell bent on ghosting a dude, turn the app off and be done with it. Obviously, her issue was he knew where she lived but we had a solution to that because of course we did. It was suggested that she hide and pretend she was not at home. Like having a friend even come over and run interference but don't call the cops you moron. Turn the lights off, hide the car, pretend it was the wrong address or just hide behind the couch. Marris' idea was even better though, hide in the attic because then the windows won't ruffle to indicate that you're actually home.

Request Wars 3.5

Theme: The Hall of Fame Stars Battle

Current Champion: Marris (1x)

Angi's Song Choice: “Mr. Brownstone" by Guns N' Roses

Marris' Song Choice: "The Hand That Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails

Winner: Marris

10 O' Clock Toast:

Toastee: Angi's Pelvic Floor

When Angi arrived at work this morning, it was 3 A.M. and she had to pee. Only one other person was there and she decided to join Angi in the bathroom where the woman called the president (maybe?) Angi was self conscious and couldn't pee so she used her pelvic floor to waddle over to the private bathroom to finish the half full stream.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"My 10 O' Clock Toast goes out to my pelvic floor." - Angi