Abe

Abe

Abe Kanan was born and raised on the south side of Chicago and grew up hanging out at Metro, Aragon, Riv, and all of Chicago’s music venues, checking...Full Bio

 

What Is That Smell in the Air (Vents)? - ATS - 6.18.24

faulty air conditioners

Photo: Daniil Dubov / iStock / Getty Images

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)

Now, our mornings normally begin with Angi complaining about some wacky ailment that ruined her day before but not today. Instead, we were treated to PoopGrate and that is not a typo. See, Angi awoke at 1 A.M. this morning to the sound of her frenchie being sick. To those unfamiliar with the dynamic layout of Floptopia, Angi's bedroom is on the first floor and the dogs tend to sleep on the second floor. While attempting to sleep between the random leg kicks and karate chops from Jay the Straight, Angi awoke to the sound of scurrying feet. Getting out of bed to figure out that the pigeons had finally learned how to break in and get their revenge, Angi instead discovered something just so much worse. It was doggy diarrhea and not just anywhere but in the air vent upstairs. I'm assuming some kind of swear laden yelling was done by Angi who barely gets to sleep as is but this is not the first time this literal mess has occurred. See, whenever the dog gets sick (which is not often,) there is usually an accident in the house. However, it seems that the accidents are always directed toward the air vent upstairs without fail. Of course, Angi tried to understand why this is happening and did a whole Nancy Kerrigan "whyyyyyyy" woe is me routine about it. The problem though is when this happens in say, the winter, you've got a house that stinks like poop (as opposed to smelling like a vineyard like it normally does.) On top of that, it takes forever to clean up the vent after this occurs so between that and the heat, Angi is apparently just having a day. Angi also took the moment to shame/blame the dog for getting her sick over the weekend but Angi left her mess in the litter box and the front lawn of the neighbor who still has Christmas decorations up. Marris, known lover of animals (sarcasm if you're not aware,) told Angi to just sell the dog. Angi considered maybe opening the door and just letting her run away but even though the Alzheimer's might help that, the dog is also blind so it would probably just end up running into a wall.

Other Stuff from Today's Show

Next up, we're jumping over to social media to look at the most attractive occupations when you don't consider salary. Marris went the typical route of hairdresser and aesthetician. Angi too loves herself a hairdresser but only because you're getting inadvertently motorboated while she's reaching around. Marris doesn't know the sensation because he's only had male barbers (but you know, an elbow bump could be factored here.)

1. Traveling Food Critic - Angi is in agreement because they pay these people to eat their food for free. Plus, it's attractive because a girl can travel around with them.

2. Forest Ranger - Marris said it's all about the uniform but Angi isn't too keen. She loves cops, firemen, UPS drivers, the DoorDash guy from Liquor Barn but thinks of nerds and Smokey the Bear when considering rangers.

3. Freelance Musicians

4. Quality Tester for a Hammock Manufacturer - What?

5. Veterinarian

6. Comic Shop Worker - Marris going this if it was a hot girl.

7. Animal Rescue Sanctuary Worker

8. Baker

9. Artist - Even Lego artists can get it.

10. Writer

11. Paleontologist - "If you love dinosaurs that much, aren't you like seven years old?" pondered Angi.

12. Teacher

13. Librarian - All that wisdom is a real turn on for Angi.

14. Pizza Delivery Guy

15. T-Shirt Cannon Guy - Angi wondered if he knew Benny the Bull and then got close to horny jail thinking about the Oregon duck.

Notice radio DJ was not on the list, our studio crew may be cute but most people who do it definitely fit the bill.

Also not on the list was a bouncer, which I'm making a point of since that leads into our Daily Discussion Topic. Stranger Things brat Noah Schnapp was recently kicked out of a bar because the 19 was wasted and mad that people wouldn't do tequila shots with him. The thing is, if you're underage in the bar, you should be cool and chilling out to not bring attention. This led to Angi's questions about having a fake ID and what the roadies did with them. Marris had one in college that he got from his brother. Because they had a resemblance and the ID was from Ohio, no one questioned it. This is actually a good tip as a police officer called in to say that if you have an out of state one, it's harder to get called out for it being fake since they only know what to look for in Illinois ones. As for Angi, she was a bartender at 19 and a girl she worked with looked just like her. For this reason, Angi got her expired ID and when she went to the bar, she was fully versed in her fake stats including address, birthday and zodiac sign. Still, the bouncer wasn't buying it and the two went back and forth. After a third denial of it being fake she was told "you're not Melissa Johnson, my best friend is her boyfriend." And I oop.... Angi was allowed to go into the bar but the ID was snatched away. Marris never ended up getting caught with his so at least someone was winning. Angi added that she was at lunch with her daughter yesterday and got wine and when her daughter said she wanted a mojito, it almost happened until Angi "No Fun Mom'ed" her. Apparently though, she's now hooked on mocktails. As for myself, no ID but we also drank at people's houses a lot when we were teens. To the roadies and the Request Line we go, starting with Jose who got his from a friend when he was 18 and slumming it downtown. It got taken though because his friend was 25 and Jose had a babyface. Rich's friend's older brother sold them at $20 a piece and so at 17, he went to Midtown Video to get a bunch of dirty movies. In turn, he would rent them to all his friends for $5 a piece which made him bank. Jeremy got a huge batch of ID's off a Chinese website for $20 a piece, used it to get a keg at Jay's Food and Liquor to get a keg at 17. Angi explained that when she was a bartender, all the bouncers would take the fakes and then resell them for $20 to $30. Bonnie knew a lady in town that was 8 years older and she used her idea to go to Chasers at 17. Marlene got her ID from her sister and she used it to go to the Jim Bean bar until she turned 21. Brandon's friend John Jon gave him his idea so he could test drive a Mitsubishi Spyder and impress a girl. He was pulled over during the test drive but was lucky enough to have it taken back to the dealership before his ID was viewed. He did get the girl though so win/win basically. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.

Finally, Youtube's annoying ads finally killed someone! We all know sitting through ads is awful and not fun but this time, when someone actually needed to get to a video, the prevention actually hurt them. See, there are some three minute ads that can be unskippable until 30 seconds in and it's their placement we are concerned with. A woman in Germany died after someone trying to help her was forced to sit through a 30 second ad on CPR and couldn't learn what to do in time. Angi rallied against this nonsense because this is essentially a public service and they are life saving in emergencies. The Daily Mail felt the same and found 7 videos buried under ads including "CPR on an infant," "How to Perform CPR" and "How to Help a Choking Adult or Child." The reason these ads are detrimental is brain cell death begins after 5 minutes. The longer you take to get to that window, the bigger chance of permanent damage or death. Marris though added that clever Youtubers would find work arounds to get past this and exploit the chance to have things used as a public service. However, there should be some kind of vetting to help combat this as a person literally died because of it.

Request Wars 3.5

Theme: Heat Wave New Wave

Current Champion: Angi (1x)

Angi's Song Choice: “People Are People" by Depeche Mode

Marris' Song Choice: "Devil Inside" by INXS

Winner: Marris

10 O' Clock Toast:

Toastee: A Bear

A bear recently went on a two hour crime spree breaking into four homes and a garage and all he got was some chicken for his troubles. This was all filmed by a neighbor and when the cops arrived, the bear simply dropped the chicken, walked over a car and went back home to the forest.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"Does anybody else's dog poop on the air vent?" - Angi

"I like when they (hairdressers) put the boobies in my face." - Angi

"I get real horny in a library, it turns me on." - Angi