Abe

Abe

Abe Kanan was born and raised on the south side of Chicago and grew up hanging out at Metro, Aragon, Riv, and all of Chicago’s music venues, checking...Full Bio

 

Marris Is Afraid of Being Eaten by Ant-Man - ATS - 6.12.24

Wood ants

Photo: Science Photo Library / Science Photo Library / Getty Images

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)

So it's Tuesday and we are already getting pretty stupid on this show. I mean, that is to be expected but this early in the week is always a treat. Though the nonsense comes a little bit later in these notes, consider this a teaser that something stupid is just below this. However, we first need to tackle the Daily Discussion Topic which looked at staycations. Though for this show, that's not something we're doing seeing as Marris is going to Africa (as Angi pointed out, leaving out the Zanzibar and Tanzania parts of his trip) and Angi just went to London a few weeks ago even though for some reason, she think that was years ago (see: early onset.) Anyway, here is a list of the best cities for a staycation (and the absolute worst.)

10. Tucson, Arizona

9. New Orleans, Louisiana - Angi co-signed this because of the food and the "spookies."

8. Atlanta, Georgia

7. San Diego, California

6. Chicago, Illinois

5. Tampa, Florida - Filed under, "so, you like strip clubs, huh?"

4. Las Vegas, Nevada

3. Cincinnati, Ohio - Angi was shocked by this one, Marris was not for some reason.

2. Honolulu, Hawaii

1. Orlando, Florida - Disney or bust brah

As for the absolute worst, that belongs to Fremont, California.

Now, we know Chicago is great and for some reason we went with the "money is no object" idea for this and started with Marris, who would hang out at a hotel rooftop bar and indoor eatery like The London, The Virgin or The Peninsula. Maybe hit up The Shedd, The Field Museum and Navy Pier. Angi said the last time she went to the museum was when her daughter was a kid but Marris said it's great, especially The Shedd when you go as an adult. More so, bring your friend who is a biologist and have him teach kids things to wow them. As for Angi's picks, she mentioned the art museum and the architectural boat tour, which is something everyone should do at least once because it is awesome. Moving on to the roadies, we got some of their fantasy staycations in Chicago like Alan who is a foodie and loves TV. He would love to hit up all the restaurants he has seen on The Bear. Head Roadie Bob wants to replicate Ferris Bueller's Day Off so he just needs to find a parade and a Ferrari. He would also do the architectural boat tour as well. April would want to hit up the Rainforest Cafe and Ed Debevic's then do a lake walk and go clubbing at all the cool spots. We had to break the news to April that Rainforest is no more and is probably going to become a dispensary. Over on our FB page, Rochelle talked about hitting up every place on the museum campus and then capping the night at Navy Pier. Rob said the Field Museum and Adler Planetarium are the places to be. Marris was shocked that no response mentioned the RiverWalk, which is hot right now even though 10 years ago it was Lower Wacker Jr. Now, it's rich people in their boats driving up and laughing at the peasants. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.

Other Stuff from Today's Show

Right, onward we go to the part of the show where things get wacky (aka the best part of the show.) Angi started this topic by discussing how some things are worse than a real life horror flick. This is one of them because a 45 year old mother of 4 in Indonesia went missing and after a search commenced, they discovered a 20 foot python with a protruding stomach. After slicing it open with a machete, they found the missing woman inside of the snake. Apparently, the snake had bitten her leg, constricted around her to suffocate her and then swallowed her whole. Marris and Angi were disgusted by this crazy way to die and so that led them to imagining their worst way to die. Marris, sweet treasure of this earth, said death by ants is his fear. I'll give you a moment to drink that one in before continuing because oh boy, we were living for it. Apparently, Marris would end up constricted and subdued by some means (who knows, he was kidnapped I guess....) Afterward, he would be covered in ants and eaten alive. As for what kind of ants, well regular, fire ants, Ant-Man, all would be there. As for Angi, burning to death is her fear because you choke and can't breathe. Plus you feel everything like your nerves being cooked but again, this was an ironic choice since we all know that the only way to do away with a witch is burn her at the stake. Prison Tattoo picked drowning because all that fighting for the air would be just horrible to experience. HP picked choking to death on pills and well, we already almost had that one last week in the studio. Somehow, we then got onto falling into vats of molten chocolate where you cook and suffocate. Worse though, they have to clean out the vat and then they have to throw out all that good chocolate, what an absolute waste.

Next up, everyone loves a good lawsuit in this country so here we are looking at yet another silly one being levied toward a company because why not. This one is taking on Cold Stone Creamery whose pistachio ice cream ... GASP ... doesn't contain actual pistachio nuts (the horror!) If the person suing had read the ingredient list, it showcased that it was just flavoring and no actual nuts inside the ice cream. The lawsuit alleged that this person expected pistachos because of the name and for whatever reason, it is being allowed to go through. Now, here's the thing, has the woman who brought this suit never eaten food before? As Marris said, he would love real fruit in his cereal but it's fruit flavored. HP's Welch's fruit snacks, those have fruit juice in them but are not fruit. Marris went one step further to claim that none of the food we eat is even real. Angi attempted to push for the woman saying who reads a website or menu before ordering, you see something say pistachio and you run with it. Marris said you go to the place, see it is flavoring and guess what, you roll with it. He is not going to be detoured by the lack of real nuts or needing to read things. Funny enough, Angi is detoured by calorie posting and that's why she doesn't eat Big Mac's anymore (bucket of chicken though, game on.) Apparently, her choices change based on caloric count but that is not something Marris cares about. Like he'll see how many there are, shrug and eat it anyway because sometimes you want a Big Mac or in this case, a pistachio ice cream even if it has no nuts.

Finally, we learned yet another new dating term on the show this morning and though the trend may not be new (Angi was doing it back in the 30's to woo suitors,) it does now have a name. "Pebbling" or the act of acting like a penguin and leaving a pebble for a potential mate to let them know they are thinking of them or are interested. Things like bringing someone a cup of coffee, doing something to brighten their day or for the sake of all this, texting a funny meme to someone. Angi explained that she knew her husband for 20 years before they hooked up and as a single mom on Facebook, she would like all his statuses, like his pics and comment on them. So "pebbling" is another word for stalking basically. Now, Marris sees this as a natural part of a relationship but Angi explains this happens before the dating starts. Memes are now part of a cultural love language and they are used to strengthen bonds and relationships. Seeing a meme, thinking of someone and sending it to them showcases you are interested or care about them. Think of it as online flirting in a sense. Angi sends all her best friends, everyone that works on this show and her husband memes so she only cares about us. As for Marris, he sends them to his bros so maybe he'll be celebrating pride with us before the year is done?

Request Wars 3.5

Theme: Canada!!!

Current Champion: Angi (13x)

Angi's Song Choice: “Fat Lip" by Sum 41

Marris' Song Choice: "Bad Girlfriend" by Theory of a Deadman

Winner: Marris

10 O' Clock Toast:

Toastee: A Rolling Paper Company

A company is offering $4.20 and 2 free prerolls to 200 people to test the science of the smoke ability of their papers. This led to Angi getting into things she considers while high including yesterday's gemstone of a girth extender for a penis. Angi's G-Sock would work like a beer koozie and could be used to just wreck her downstairs and make it look like the Grand Canyon.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"It makes my day." - Marris

"Hearing Rick Astley?" - Angi

"I wish people would research me when I'm high." - Angi