Photo: Flickr RF
This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)
One day away from the weekend as well as one day removed from International Women's Day means that we're going down the ridiculous route this morning. Apparently there are not enough holidays and or appreciation days as is, so guess what, someone wants another one. Much like every specific silly holiday that exists as is, the want here is influenced by their inner sphere and boy is it specific. A Florida (of course) woman was in the news recently after being thrown out of a city meeting in Boca Raton (of course) when she suggested that there needs to be a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Momma Appreciation Day. She went on to explain that these Sugars are essential to the economy of Boca Raton (of course) and therefore they should get their due. Even though this woman is clearly an idiot, it gave Angi an idea for our Daily Discussion topic. Who or what deserves their own appreciation day? Angi's suggestion was a close to home one in weed dispensaries. They help the economy and bring tons of revenue that umm improves the city (pause for deep belly laughs.) Abe went one step further and said the day should be dedicated to drug dealers themselves. Sure, Abe doesn't indulge in the marijuana chronic reefer grass pot spliff blunt cigarettes but he does know a ton of drug dealers. Abe had his own separate pick though for old people because as you should know, Abe is the Patron Saint of Old People so it's only fitting that he feels the need for an Old Person Appreciation Day. He doubled down on how old people should die with no money and how it should be spent and not passed on to kids. As for myself, even though I show my love and appreciation to it daily, there definitely needs to be a Captain Morgan White Appreciation Day because it's one of the few things that make my life worthwhile. Now that we've said our choices, we're going over to the Request Line to hear what the roadies think need to be added to the agenda sheet. Head Roadie Hayden said we need an official Roadie Appreciation Day which is a great idea and I'm surprised we haven't created it yet. Tricia said we need a Grocery Bagger Appreciation Day because it's normally a first job for most people and people treat them like garbage but most importantly, Tricia seemed really thirsty for them. Abe was confused by this because everywhere he goes, there are no baggers, only one cashier and 700 self checkout aisles. Head Roadie Keith said we need an Automotive Technician Appreciation Day because of course he would think this. Austin said we need a Public Workers Appreciation Day as they bust their butts all season doing a ton of work. Christy said we need a Police Appreciation Day but that already exists as Angi rightfully assumed it did (for the record, Abe thought it didn't.) Dan said we need a Single Father's Appreciation Day (which seems like an offshoot of Father's Day but with stronger emphasis on those running it alone.) Josh said Blue Collar Worker Appreciation Day is sorely needed as it's hard work that most people don't want to do. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our FB group and read up or drop us a comment.
Other Stuff from Today's Show
In a move that is sure to inspire some form of Abe Kanan business idea (or as we saw in Don't Kill Angi, a poorly conceived Angi business idea,) we discussed topless maids this morning. Oddly enough most would assume that this type of service died out with 800 numbers and Girls Gone Wild yet here we are and the pay is actually decent for a side hustle. Apparently, one made $2,000 cleaning 5 houses over the course of a day. The questions that arose from here though did not have to do with where do we sign up or get one but exactly what the maid does. Do you watch her dust windows and lampshades or do you leave and have a nanny cam in every room. I mean, when a maid normally comes you tend to leave and hope she doesn't open the toy chest under the bed (right Angi?) Does this maid get on the floor, dust the crevices and bend over in the clients face? Isn't this something you could get for cheaper on like OnlyFans if you have a fetish? The assumption is that the work is not hard (but the client ...) Since she charges $300 dollars an hour, we have to assume she's giving lap dances or something as well. Like, there's no way she cleaned 5 houses in a day unless it was light dusting and heavy petting. This is where we landed that there is perhaps some expectation of something else coming along with the cleaning. Angi explained that there is a girl who will straddle you while wearing a bikini as she cuts your hair so clearly, topless maid probably has built in perks. I mean, it has never happened to Abe but he goes to the barber shop and that might look awkward. Either way, just know that Angi & Abe would clean your house for $2,000 (because that's like a year's salary here at iHeart.)
Now that we've wet your appetite for sexy stuff, let's move on to dessert. Cookies, who doesn't love just going to town on a bag of Oreos and then spending the rest of the day hating yourself? A whole thing of brownies and regret, who hasn't been down that road? Well apparently there is a weight loss trick that exists to help curb your enthusiasm for food. It involves trickery and not the kind where you cut your food into pieces and scatter it across the plate to trick yourself into thinking you ate more. It also isn't the known fact that slowing down and chewing the foot long sub you're eating every afternoon helps keep you fuller. This new trend involves gaslighting yourself by pretending that the meal you ate was absolutely humongous and in turn, you'll think you're full. Like let's say you ate a sleeve of Oreos and now you want to have a whole pizza. Pretend the Oreos were 20 steaks and your mind will crave nothing more than a nap (and if you're lucky, bulimia.) This stupid study was done with giving people rice and sauce and then cookies as a snack after. Those instructed to think that they overate the rice and sauce found themselves less inclined to take tons of cookies (unless they were Cookie Monster.) The problem here is the brainwashing requires a lack of rationality as any person with half a brain would reason with the notion that they didn't eat everything they could get their hands on and in turn, still crave a snack. The true problem is Abe lying in bed thinking about eating Hooters wings at midnight and Angi going to sleep to curb cravings and then eating a bag of Oreos at 3 A.M. In other words, just eat in moderation and you should be fine, you pigs.
Finally, if Angi & Abe were to ever go to a ski resort, I would have assumed they were the cause for this news story. Apparently, guests at a resort snuck out in the middle of the night, climbed a 3,000 foot mountain and drew a humongous dong in the snow. This thing is the size of the Abeaconda aka a football field. While it was done in the cover of night with a full moon, when the resort discovered it, they were furious. They took a bunch of skiers, put them in helicopters and dropped them on it to mess it up (this sounds like the stupidest waste of money ever.) It would make more sense to leave the thing as you're going to get tourists who want to see it but no one sees the BIGGER picture here. Ironically, you can see this giant dong on our show page but we suggest you don't go out and try recreating this. After all, could you imagine dying from drawing a massive dong in the snow?
Request Wars 2.0
Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping John) Song Choice: "Same Ol' Situation (S.O.S.)" by Mötley Crüe
Abe's (repping Emily) Song Choice: "Hair of the Dog" by Nazareth
Smack Talk Recap:
Abe is eating nachos and peanut M&M's. Abe loves "Hair of the Dog." Angi knows Crüefan will be voting for her today. It's one of her favorite Crüe songs. A discussion of the girls in the videos hotness ensued.
Winner: Angi
10 O' Clock Toast:
Jamie Lee Curtis.
She came out and said that bands need to start doing matinee shows. Abe, who's usually a square, suggested we start drinking after work. For some reason we then talked about wet old men like Phil Collins.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Where do you find a topless maid btw?" - Angi