This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)
Now, normally we have fun at the expense of Angi on the show each morning and well, today was no different. What did change is that in goofing on her today, men were also treated to an education. You see, as a woman ages, her body goes through a bunch of changes. For example, Angi isn't even 50 yet but she's hit early menopause which was prime material for a some light ribbing but also showcasing just how dumb Abe is (and I love him mind you but he was a dunce here.) So, this all came about because Angi's ass was on fire this morning and she was wiggling in her chair like she had worms. Abe was curious/confused as to what her deal was and she showed him that she has moved on to hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to combat the primary effect of her early menopause. The by the way would be the night sweats, which have gotten so bad that this pig finds herself washing the sheets every day because she soaks through them at night. The whole situation is nasty and gross but it's a part of life and all your favorites including JLO, Shakira and Gwen Stefani are also dealing with this. Doing a slight circle back to the patch and a discussion on that, Abe assumed that HRT is like Syllvestor Stallone (who is on HGH.) As for how it's delivered, this is where the patch on her ass comes in, which then brings us back to the burning/itching Angi was trying to deal with this morning. The choices for placement included the high part of her booty or by her bikini line. She opted for booty and assumes the burning has to do with the fact that she's allergic to everything. While this is well and good to help combat the night sweats, there are side effects. To correct Abe, no one of those is her not suddenly growing a penis. Actual side effects include blood clots and stroke, which Angi wanted to warn Abe about. In case she has a stroke on air, she wants him to be ready to deal with it. His solution made a ton of sense, which is to throw a bucket of water at her and then kick her in the face. The more pressing issue (outside of you know, death,) is that Angi might gain weight from water retention. The idea of being an actual pig and not being called one for soaking the bed are too different stories. Abe suggested that she do more cardio (you could smell the smoke coming from her ears) and then added that they will be getting in shape come January. On an up note though, the HRT "should" give her better hair, skin and bones. Hearing this made Abe suggest he should go on HRT or HGH (I can't today.) Going back to the patch though and really the biggest fallout of it started with a discussion on seeing it. Like if Angi is to bend over, it will reveal itself. Comparing it to an eyepatch, this was only the tip of things sliding into the ocean. There is a fear that Jay the Straight might see it and be disgusted as well (cue Don't Kill Angi from today and all that fallout.) Abe continued to dig his grave further as he questioned about the patch smelling or oozing, assuming that this tiny bandaid looking thing was comparable to an IcyHot patch. He also assumed this thin band aid was hard, like she's wearing some kind of mic patch. He asked if she could bring in the box of them tomm (they need to be replaced) so he could get a good look at them. Best of all though, pregnancy is finally off the table so now shooting up the club can commence without worry!
Other Stuff from Today's Show
Now, the Red Line to hell was not always active on the show today as evidenced by how it initially started. In fact, when Abe walked in this morning, he had a spring in his step. He was all excited because he ate Hooters yesterday and early so there were no impending issues for the morning. His order consisted of 10 wings which were all drumsticks as the only way he'll indulge in flats is if they're free. Funny that he had mentioned free food as today is the iHeart Thanksgiving feast here on the ghost town floor. Well, not necessarily a ghost town as it's Thursday which means that there's a ton of jobbers wandering around. The thing is though Abe is not a fan of Thanksgiving food and so he doesn't care too much about the free meal the vultures were circling. Angi, on the other hand, loves it but she's not a fan of turkey. After going over some of the spread that was left out, it was noted that all the pigs were all lined up to get at the food. Angi doesn't normally stick around for these things though and Abe, well he has something better to do. That's right, instead of fighting over a piece of dry meat against the goon squad, he has to go get his Real ID instead. Of course that in itself is also a big todo but the overall discussion about it should have been a warning sign of the show to come today. Angi explained that she has to go get her next week and there's a problem that she is hoping doesn't become an issue when she does. See due to covid and lying drunk on the couch, Angi allowed her license to expire two years ago. Factor in that she lost the thing at Lollapalooza and so it was more "out of sight, out of mind" than anything else. The irrational fear in her mind is that she will go and they will immediately handcuff her the moment she walks in. There was an attempt at "persuasion," checking to see if anyone works at the DMV so she could get in and out but it is what it is. Instead of breaking the rules, she's just sticking it out though and hoping for the best. Of course, Abe antagonized her by saying she may have to take her driving test again. She shouldn't feel too bad if it goes wrong though because Abe failed his written test last time. Apparently, the yield sign is just that damn tricky.
Moving right along, from getting freebies to spending money, disappointment comes in many forms. Inspired by a recent Jay the Straight purchase that turned out to be an utter dud, Angi wanted to look at online ordering. You see, Jay the Straight is an icon when it comes to fashion and looking fly as hell. For this reason, he needs to be on the cutting edge of fashion at all times. While browsing, he happened upon what looked like clean long sleeve white shirts covered in tiny black polka dots. This seemed awesome and was a must for his closet. Of course, he bought them immediately and when they arrived, he realized what he actually ordered. It was not tiny polka dots on it but they were actually rhinestones. One assumes that he didn't intend to look like a cross between Elton John and Liberace but maybe he might try to make it work. That said, Angi considered the shirts to be the dumbest thing she had ever seen and honestly, she's not wrong. This inspired today's main talking point though about things you have ordered and then when you received it, it was not what you expected. For example, during her vegetarian phase, Angi ordered a food chopper off Amazon. In what one assumes was the drunkest purchase ever, she ended up getting an industrial sized meat slicer. Before Abe's dreams of stuffing a honey baked ham in there could be realized, Angi shattered him by telling him that it was immediately sent back. Another time, Angi intended to Omar her mother a small lemon tree for the house but she ended up accidentally sending her a large one meant for the yard. As for Abe, he saw Don West hawking 1952 Mickey Mantle cards through the Home Shopping Network. Being young and not realizing that the world is a terrible place, he ordered up and was instead sent a bunch of worthless cards. Even his grandmother told him he was stupid for believing the hype but young kids just don't know better. Before we get to the Request Line, let's look at one more Angi purchase. She bought a velvet suit recently, intending to wear it at the iHeart Christmas party. When it arrived, it was so small it barely got up past her buckling old knees. Onward to the roadies, we started with Christy who wanted a personal back massager. Assuming that it was code for vibrator, that's exactly what she was sent. Angi attempted to explain that all back massagers and shower head attachments are actually sex toys. Luckily, she ended up keeping it because it didn't work for her back but it did work her out. Angi subtly asked for the purchase link as we moved on to Jennifer. She ordered pots and pans from Ikea and when they arrived, they ended up being toys. She did what she should have done which was read the description and saw that it was actually toys. Reading comprehension is important for people. Other examples we had were someone ordering vinyl and getting coffee. Ordering a windmill that was assumed to be 8 inches that was actually 8 feet. Ordering Jordans and being sent Pro Wings (gag.) If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our socials (FB group, Twitter, Instagram) and read up or drop us a comment.
Lastly, after playing a little INXS, Michael Hutchence came up because of his snubbing in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. This lack of induction does not sit well with most and they decided to put out a petition to get them in. So far, they have plenty of votes but let's be realistic, no one pays attention to those Change petitions. Speaking of bands not in, not only has INXS been snubbed but so has Iron Maiden (as Abe loves to remind us of,) Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots, Smashing Pumpkins, Blue Oyster Cult, Pantera, Slayer and Boston. None of this should matter at all though as Abe pointed out because all awards are basically fake. Angi tried to elaborate that it's voted on by industry people but it doesn't matter. In fact, we matter so little that when the millions of fan votes are tallied, it counts as only one industry vote. Abe thinks all of this is just dumb and honestly, I agree. After all, with all the problems in the world, who cares about musicians getting screwed?
Request Wars 2.0
Champion: Angi (Streak: 4)
Angi's (repping Mark) Song Choice: "The Pretender" by Foo Fighters
Abe's (repping Chip) Song Choice: "Breed" by Nirvana
Smack Talk Recap:
Abe Ruth assumes that he has a winner on his hands today. Abe also said that this is the greatest Nirvana song ever. According to Angi, Dave Grohl recorded the drums and vocals for "The Pretender." Chip was at the Nirvana show at Dreamers, along with Walt.
10 O'Clock Toast:
He teamed up with Mike Tyson on cannabis and the Ric Flair drip line. Well now Ric Flair has created a weed blower that will blow pot smoke in the faces of everyone around you.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I've never checked it out but I know he (Dylan Cease) has a nice package." - Abe
"I'm gonna sue Dogecoin, Doja Cat, Safe Moon, Sailor Moon, I'm gonna sue everybody." - Angi