This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)
Another weekend has come and gone and as always, that means we took a moment this morning to explore what Angi & Abe did while they were away from entertaining the roadies each morning. Now, this usually detours into some kind of nothing as the two of them are holded up in their respective homes (The Flop House and The Ivory Tower) but this weekend, they actually did stuff. Starting with Abe's delightful jaunt into the burbs, he was surprised by his girlfriend Cathy (much like we're always surprised he's dating a woman,) with a Hawaiian birthday party (because people like Todd make it impossible to take days off for a destination wedding.) The adventure started at The Tiki Terrace in Des Plaines. Not only was he gifted a Hawaiian shirt but he also got lei'd as well as a tribal chief necklace to wear (like his idol Roman Reigns.) There was also a trip to a Hala Kahiki Lounge in River Grove but none of that matters because we all know that the highlight of his weekend was, of course, disgusting eating. Abe ended up getting an incredible meal from Three Little Pigs, which is a ghost kitchen. The food was in fact so good, that Abe couldn't be bothered to wait until he got back home to eat it and he instead devoured it in his car. There was no discussion on whether or not he went shirtless in the car but we did hear that the owner makes his own mayo. This is not something that Abe could be convinced to do because effort and Duke's is readily available. Speaking of things that make a disgusting mess, Abe hung out with his friends for his fantasy draft on Friday. Though he didn't reveal who he picked outside of Joe Burrow, he seems confident he will win the fantasy belt this year. As for Angi, she did a "boat thing" on Friday which initially was commented as "fine" but somewhere along the lines added in "that she almost got into a fight with some jobber from iHeart." Funny how the contrast changes so drastically after considering things for more than three seconds. The person who almost got their ass beat and thrown into the lake though had it coming for years but alas, spoiler alert, escaped unscathed. Not around for the chance to World Star was another iHeart worker Abe, who was busy anyway (and definitely was not invited.) There were plenty of other jobbers though to take his place and if it seems like Abe is not respected ... well (also, check out his paycheck.) As for the fight that wasn't, Angi was ready to throw down (and toss off the jobber bitch) when the boat was docking but you know, there were bosses there. However, this girl is a known pot stirrer and invoked Angi's family into an insult, which is what made her see red. So a lovely party is ruined by a-holes once again, who could have ever foreseen that coming ... aside from anyone smart enough to listen to the show and know most people are trash.
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
So, I know I just talked about Angi being a boat but guess what, I have more to discuss about Angi being on a boat. It turns out she saved some of her content for later so everyone could get a taste of boat life (the morning crowd and the later in the show crowd!) On the boat that Angi was partying on, (and making enemies on,) there was one policy that was invoked as soon as you stepped aboard. Funny enough, stepping was the point that came into consideration, as in, people were not allowed on the boat with shoes on. This meant that either you were getting a pedi or you were popping on with only socks. If I hadn't been told this was an iHeart party, I would have assumed this was some kind of OnlyFans fetish party. Not keen on showing off their little piggie was Big Poppa, who wore some delightful yacht socks. The same would have been done with Abe, who again was not invited but he's not bitter (he was playing slap ass with his fantasy friends anyway.) As for the reason shoes are not allowed on these old wooden boats, the heels apparently ruin the floors and they also track moisture, which ruins the floors. Then again, I'd assume disgusting bare feet in the heat would essentially do the same thing right? Speaking of the heat, it was like 150 degrees, there was no AC and they weren't allowed below deck until after an hour which means she baked in the sun with so many disgusting pairs of bare feet. Also on the shade list, the outfit choices of some people which were ... questionable. However, the spread was nice and consisted of sliders, shrimp and expensive tequila for which the big boss is the owner of the company. In fact, Angi downed as much tequila as she could hold in that tiny body of hers, which makes the throw down that didn't occur even crazier for not occurring. The last thing worth noting before we finally got away from boat talk was that when Angi did get to go below, she found The Goonies all hanging out. Surprisingly, Abe was actually offended that Chunk was doing the truffle shuffle on a table in the corner (no fun allowed, remember!)
Right then, moving along the last two topics to go over both involve life advice. Well, I mean this one is technically more afterlife advice but still. That's right, we're looking at browser history, the one thing that 70% of people are afraid of others seeing when they're dead. This of course has to do with the fact that people tend to always be looking up bad stuff. The one thing most people are weirded out by seeing is the medical stuff they get into like "gee, is it monkeypox or mosquito bites and why does my poop come out orange?" Funny enough, 51% of mens searched stuff they are worried about having found is their Pornhub searches (I swear I clicked tentacle fetish porn by accident.) As for women, 16% live in fear of the WebMD searches (like why does my T-Rex arm crack and pop when I move it?) Other things that they are worried about being seen are health issues, personal relationships and looks. So, since we all delight in watching the two idiots who steer this ship suffer, what are some of their recent embarrassing searches? Abe looked up "does fiber help with constant pooping?" He did this because he bought some fiber gummies the other day and consumed 10 of them (recommended serving, not that.) He is very regular and his assumption was that eating fiber gummies helps fill him with water or something to stop him from running to the bathroom five minutes after eating and then spending 47 minutes on the toilet. What he should have actually searched was for ways to bind himself up. Also on his list was "Is Captain Lou Albano dead?" Oddly enough, Angi knew he was dead even though we had to tell her three times that Jani Lane was dead. As for Angi's searches, she looked up Jinder Mahal to stare at his hot body and ignore his disgusting face. She also looked for ten best hangover cures, which should be no shock. "Why isn't The Chroniconline?" and the menu for Café L'Appetito. Funny enough, the point here was to erase embarrassing history and the only embarrassing thing here is how lame these searches are.
Finally, it turns out we've been showering all wrong. This is indeed relevant on a hot and disgusting day like today. Weirdly enough, the advice being given is to not shower too often. According to experts, unless you're sweaty that day, you can chop down showers to a few times a week. Abe is in complete disagreement with this and showers each time he leaves the house. If he doesn't, he ends up feeling disgusted and you know, I'm sure someone suffers his wrath. As for Angi, she can go a weekend without showering if she's not doing anything because honestly, she spends the whole time on the couch anyway. Other offered up advice is to take shorter showers and colder ones, as it's better for dry skin. Angi of course bucks this trend because she loves to soak in the hot hot water as much as possible. Also, don't wash your hair too much, especially women. Then again, some people don't wash their hair enough (good lord, all the contradictions in this mess.) Mainly when you shower, the focus should be on your underarms, your cash and prizes and the feet. Abe expects all around cleaning because as we get older, our disgustingness increases. In other words, wash your ass you pigs. Another thing that should be done, moisturizing, because your skin is dying for some. With all that has been mentioned, let's cap this with Abe who will usually shower twice a day and throw in a third one even sometimes. He feels that they wake him up (probably because the shower is properly cold) whereas Angi's are so hot, she just wants to sleep after.
Request Wars 2.0
Champion: Angi (Streak: 6)
Angi's (repping Betty) Song Choice: "One Thing Leads to Another" by Fixx
Abe's (repping The Log Master) Song Choice: "Slither" by Velvet Revolver
Smack Talk Recap:
The Log Master runs something to do with logs and this alone was enough for Abe. After all, anything to do with logs makes him thrilled. As for Betty, she's someone who likes Angi and Abe but would be more known as Abe's girl. After a time, Abe remembered that the Log Master does some king of logging or something. Abe then sang the log song as Angi talked about all the logs in his bedroom.
10 O'Clock Toast:
He swore in the booth and assumed there was a seven second delay (and guess what, there wasn't.)
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I do love pounding the big guys, not the little guys." - Abe