This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)
Well, it's Chainsaw Friday which means we've hit that point of the week where everything is good and pure, right? Actually that's not the case because this morning, Angi & Abe made a declaration that they are cool and no longer "good time Sally's." They've decided to stop fighting the good fight and are just going to lay down and take it now. Not getting paid for something, it's all good baby. Getting punched in the face at work, all good. So yeah, it seems like nothing is going to be an issue anymore and so I guess I have nothing else to write about....
(cut to two hours later)
So, Angi decided it was time to drag Jay the Straight again today, even though yesterday he was getting it for his "Work from iHeart" day. After Angi made horrible sneaky videos trying to showcase him hard at work, she decided that it was time to throw him into the flaming coals that is her drag pit. After breaking out her phone, Angi showed Abe that Jay the Straight did the laundry yesterday and she had photo evidence of it. First off, he threw all of the clothes on the couch after washing them. This wasn't the most egregious part of it all though because he also put her favorite sweater in with her bras. This caused all the hooks to catch onto the sweater and it looked like something out of Hellraiser when all was said and done. Now all this is completely wild because when Angi started dating Jay the Straight, he would tell her not to touch his laundry. He was very meticulous about his clothing. He irons it, he folds it and he sets it a particular way. Meanwhile, all her stuff was tossed on the couch like he expected her to move out. This means that today, instead of lying drunk on the couch, she has to rewash the laundry that is covered in dog hair and wrinkled to hell. Even though she threw him onto the bed of spikes this morning though, she says she still loves him. I guess I should believe her but I've been tricked by women plenty of times so we'll see.
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
Finally, in this studio, having Abe around is like having a cat with a laser pointer. His ADHD is off the charts but since he won't snort Adderall, we have to contend with it. The thing is, much like Abe, we have become led to the point of absolute distraction and we can't help ourselves. This is most apparent during TV watching because we seem to need our phones, laptops and the like to consume content properly these days. With that in mind, Angi gave us a list of shows to mindlessly lose ourselves to.
The Great British Baking Show
Emily in Paris
Real Housewives (any variation)
When asked for his background noise shows, Abe picked Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm. He also added that the movies Swingers and Rounders are great choices as well. He tried to throw in Ren & Stimpy but Angi was having none of that. Instead, she suggested Emily in Paris, which is Sex in the City with Phil Collin's daughter basically. However, he'd rather watch Billy Bob's Poker Blog and Youporn. Also pulled from this, Angi refuses to watch The Shield and Abe won't watch The Wire until she does.
Request Wars 2.0
Champion: Angi (Streak: 5)
Angi's (repping Jason) Song Choice: "Jet Set Woman" by Queensrÿche
Abe's (repping Keith) Song Choice: "Judas" by Fozzy
Smack Talk Recap:
Today we had Head Roadie Keith even though Abe assumed he was playing with Keith's son. Also confused was Robert from San Diego who assumed Keith was Angi's husband. Angi's actual husband Jay the Straight was her player today, whose song was dedicated to the WNBA girl he and his friend tagged teamed. Angi thinks that Jericho is a pig but Abe said he has great hair. Also, Keith's life melted down in the background.
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Angi Is Seeking Relaxation After a Long Weekend
Mon: Angi wanted a massage
Seth had Angi decide to get a deep tissue massage. There was an option for one with hot rocks but anytime stones are involved with Angi, it's usually people throwing them at her. The woman entered Angi's house and did everything one would do to set up. Once sprawled on the table, the woman got to work and Angi was loving it. It was so calm and relaxing, a real treat for her. However, as she worked her way up, the masseuse started to massage a little too hard. Angi mentioned this and told her to focus on the neck. The woman went to work and immediately started cracking it. The first time was pleasure, the second time was relief, the third time was heaven but this was all masked by Angi hollering in pain. Annoyed, the woman cracked it once more but this time it was in half. (Dead)
Tue: Angi wanted to try Ayahuasca
Jay had Angi decide to use Steven Tyler as her Ayahuasca shaman. The pair trekked to Joshua Tree National Park, a place Steven felt Angi could really find her herself. She sips the drink and within a few hours, Angi found herself crying and cleansing her past demons. The thing was, there were a lot of demons to work through, like a lot. As she sat there, it seemed like the crying was never going to cease. Hell, the trip itself was supposed to last only four hours but 40 days and 40 nights later, Angi was still crying. Seeing that this wasn't ending anytime soon, Steven Tyler explained that he was needed on tour and he dipped out on Angi. As she continued to cry, the trees around her began to feel her sadness and also began to cry. In fact, the entire park caught her sadness and cried itself to the point of death. When she finally stopped, the entire landscape had died from her emo sadness but she lived to cry another day. (Alive)
Wed: Angi wanted to hang at a bathhouse
Dawn had Angi decide to take a dip in a bath with the hot guys who have dead junk, shrunken balls and bacne. She slipped in wearing her one piece bikini and even though she was basically completely covered up, the guys loved her. Even though she was trying to relax, it was hard to ignore the dudes yelling "hey, nice stems" and "you've got a nice bumper." Disgusted, Angi considered getting out until one of the drones suggested playing Marco Polo, which is her favorite water sports based game. She closed her eyes and the hunt was on, with all the macho men yelling to her and playing slap ass. Her attempt at a catch was directed at Hans the Idiot Gorilla, who was so muscular he could barely move through the water. She grabbed onto him and he was furious, so mad in fact that they started wrestling. He grabbed her by the head and pushed her underwater, using his muscular frame to hold her under until she drowned. (Dead)
Thur: Angi wanted to hang at Abe's condo
Joel had Angi decide to sit on the right side of Abe's couch. After breaking into his condo using the code to the door lock she bought him, Angi intended to surprise Abe for his birthday by sitting down and watching Billy Bob's Poker Blog with him. After waiting four hours, she started to doze off but finally Abe arrived home. He threw open the door like a gorilla and had an entire crate of Hooters wings and a gallon of blue cheese in hand. He immediately took off his shirt and started to go nuts on the wings. Angi was disgusted but sat patiently, ready to yell surprise when he finally noticed her. However, he never even noticed she was there and after an hour of disgusting eating, he immediately made a line for the couch. The problem was that Abe was in a food coma and didn't notice Angi sitting in his normal spot. He landed on her with a thud and got settled in, completely unaware that there was a person under him. She tried her hardest to move the slumbering beast but couldn't, instead succumbing to the suffocation that came from having him lying on top of her. (Dead)
Fri: Angi wanted to chill at a concert
Diana had Angi decide to go to the Rob Zombie concert. Angi walked into Tinley Park Stadium or whatever it's called and she felt so relaxed. There was a true moment of zen coursing through her when she was suddenly approached by Hot Karl, Rob Zombie's head roadie. He didn't really say much but instead slapped a backstage pass on Angi before disappearing back in the crowd. Thrilled, Angi made her way to the back and thought about the last time she went backstage. Flashes of lesbians and Van Halen blurred in her mind as she opened a door and entered a room. Sprawled out on a couch was Rob Zombie, who was flipping through an issue of Fangoria. Looking up, he saw Angi and remarked, "ugh, I wouldn't bang you with Hot Karl's dong." As if summoned by name alone, suddenly Hot Karl appeared behind Angi and proceeded to lock the door. Rob Zombie sat up, pulled out a knife and stabbed Angi in the front. While he did that, Hot Karl stabbed her in the back. They both love horror so it made for an amusing scene to them as Angi collapsed to the ground, bleeding out on the floor. (Dead)
10 O'Clock Toast:
During a recent interview, he said he's getting treatment for his mentals and experimenting with psychedelic drugs.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"The germiest thing here at iHeart radio is Taylor's chair from all the snail trailing all day." - Minn Barb
PSAbe: If you gamble on preseason football, you need to get some help.
PSAngi: Hey, don't let Abe degenerate gamble shame you.