Abe

Abe

Abe Kanan was born and raised on the south side of Chicago and grew up hanging out at Metro, Aragon, Riv, and all of Chicago’s music venues, checking...Full Bio

 

Angi Taylor Show Recap With Jay The Gay - 5-24-2022

Photo: Flickr RF

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)

So it's wedding season, which is probably even further in overdrive due to the fact that the pandemic held them back for like two years. Since she is popular (and has no place to live for the next few weeks,) Angi ended up in Napa this weekend to attend the wedding of KISS 103.5 on air personality and Jay the Straight's wrestling buddy Brady. Now normally a wedding would not be something that we would fawn over on this show but the combination of destination wedding tipped the scale but it was the theme that sent it plummeting to the floor. It was a yacht rock themed wedding which in my mind, sounds like absolute hell. Now if you don't know yacht rock, think Christopher Cross, Toto and Hall and Oates. In fact, the newlyweds hired Yachty By Nature as their wedding band (christ, I'm jumping off that ship immediately.) Before moving on to the next nauseating point in this sea bound topic, Abe let us all know that The Ron Burgundy's is the premiere yacht rock band of Chicago. With all this in mind (and probably because she was hung over, see the top of the show and her thinking it was Monday,) Angi wanted to hear about the weirdest theme wedding the roadies had been to. I should add, before we get into Abe's wackiness, Angi has also been to a Bruce Springsteen wedding. Her wedding of course was not themed but it could have been called "The Rockin Drug Express" mainly due to the afterparty. As for Abe, he went to a Star Trek wedding, which in itself was a tough explanation because he doesn't know much about Star Trek. Apparently, the whole wedding party was wearing Spock ears and the guys all wore Spock wigs. As for the girls, they were wearing "that green girl alien outfit thing" along with the Starfleet insignia. His said the whole affair was just dumb and I couldn't agree with this more. On the phones, we spoke to Caroline who went to a Game of Thrones wedding. Abe said that this sounded awesome (he clearly has brain damage.) The whole thing was medieval from the food to the dress, which Caroline missed the memo on as she did not dress for the occasion. Also seen at this hell was the bride and groom sitting on thrones, the groom walking around everywhere with a sword and the flower girl/ring bearer were dressed up as dragons. As for John, he plays in a band and also is an ordained minister so he pulled double duty at a Hillbilly themed wedding. The groom and all his groomsmen were double fisting Busch Light, the bride wore a dress and cowgirl boots and of course, it took place in a cornfield. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our socials (FB group, Twitter, Instagram) and read up or drop us a comment.

Other Stuff from Today's Show:

So, as you read above, Angi was at a wedding all weekend. While she spent the weekend getting some (as did the bride and groom I hope) there was a discussion about others who may have gotten some. While seated and nursing her hangover, Angi noticed (see spied on) a pair sitting in front of her who were total strangers. They spent the duration of the flight "chopping it up" as we like to say on this show. In fact, the two were so into each other that they even missed the announcement that the plane had landed and they were shocked. Not to hog all the story time, Abe chimed in about his friend who was once riding back home with him (I know this friend and this makes me laugh.) While Abe was sleeping, the friend "chopped it up" with this hot girl for about two hours or so. As the flight ended, she dropped a colossal bombshell. She told said friend "I can't wait for you to meet my husband, the Navy SEAL." I think the point of this is to either showcase that you should always talk to strangers on the plane or never talk to anyone ever. Now that we've heard so much about Angi's weekend, perhaps we should look in on Abe's. Oh wait, he didn't say anything about what he did this past weekend. Instead, he took a moment to complain about his friends not giving him the credit he deserves. You see, Facebook got sued by Illinois and the result was a $397 check. Abe sent the link to a ton of people and they ended up all getting paid because of it. Initially, Abe was mad because he wasn't getting this cash but all these jobber friends were. Of course, his money eventually came through (Angi and I were left holding the empty bag because we never signed up.) Since he now had money, he proceeded to then be mad about the fact that no was thanking him for being the reason that they can all waste money on whatever it is degenerates spend money on, like gambling or a gallon of gas.

Next up, the topic that comes up in concern of most people when they talk about being married, death. Now, as we all know, rock stars never die. For example Anthony Kiedis is 59 but doesn't look it in the slightest. Ozzy, Kieth Richards, hell Mick Mars doesn't have a spine and he's still going at it, 70 year old Ric Flair is about to have a wrestling match. Speaking of people in their 70's, the Stones are all (well...) still going and Mick Jagger had plenty to say on how it works. If you want to be rockstar ready, you need to do stuff because your body is not designed to do the stuff they're doing in their 70's. His way of keeping fit involves going to the gym and also dancing every day of the week. This is something that pig Vince Neil should take note of. In 2019, after having heart surgery, Mick now brings his cardiologist everywhere he goes with him. Like the tour rider before looked like cocaine, heroin, booze, whores, and hot melted cheese. Now the rider is like his personal cardiologist and leafy green veggies. When pressed as to what Abe would bring on the road with him, he of course said hot melted cheese (video of the machine in action on all our socials. Angi explained that bringing Big Pappa with him is not an option because it would be days of melted cheese, bacon and clogged arteries. Speaking of melted cheese still because it's such a hot topic, Angi explained that at the wedding, she was approached by a ton of people (who don't live in Chicago mind you,) who wanted to talk to her about the cheese machine. Imagine this is the legacy you're going to leave behind, no wonder why she wants to jump out a window.

Lastly, here's a game of is this celebrity cool or garbage when it comes to being a restaurant?

Keanu Reeves: Great! He's always nice, always tips 50%.

Channing Tatum: Trash! He once thought someone was taking pics of him (they weren't) and he had them thrown out of the restaurant.

Bryan Cranston: Great! Sat down with the crew to eat on set and ordered them custom merch.

Barbara Streisand: Trash! Fussy and won't make eye contact.

John Goodman: Great! He was super nice and left a server in tears with his kindness.

Stephen Baldwin: Trash! Complete a-hole, let his kids run wild on a bar and yelled no pics (no one wants that losers pic anyway.)

Magic Johnson: Great! Came to Denny's at 3 A.M. and signed autographs.

Olivia Wilde: Great! Did a shoot at a restaurant and was super nice.

Ralph Finnes: He was on the list but Angi didn't care.

Request Wars 2.0:

Champion: Abe (Streak: 1)

Angi's (repping John) Song Choice: "Hangar 18" by Megadeth

Abe's (repping Gus) Song Choice: "Detroit Rock City" by KIϟϟ

Observation:

Abe was actually pained this morning, his shoulder hurt from carrying the belt all weekend. To attempt a win today, he went and mobilized the KIϟϟ army to make sure he got a win. Angi explained that the biggest loser she knows is a KIϟϟ fan and so she decided Megadeth could easily put these painted clowns down.

Winner: Abe

10 O'Clock Toast:

Great Comedians. Netflix is now airing The Hall, which is a comedy hall of fame special that apparently only inducts dead comedians.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"Every guy in Chicago today has .2 inch less johnson." - Abe