This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Psssss, wanna hear a secret? Of course you do, everyone loves to have a good secret or two glide across their ears. Only today's secrets aren't meant for pleasure or satisfaction, no these are truth bombs meant to decimate your notions of things. This was brought on by Angi seeing a hotel worker spill the beans about things that occur within a hotel. For example, that extra comfy comforter that is covered in god knows what (especially if Lindsay Lohan stayed in your room,) is never washed. I'll pause a minute so you can go throw up before resuming your reading. (pause) Anyway, we good, wanna know what else they're up to. When they're at the front desk, they're usually just screwing around playing games and searching websites. Also, there are cameras in all those public areas. So you know all those times Angi passed out in the hallway of the hotel? Those exist, as do the ones of her stealing half eaten cheeseburgers off trays and eating them. See, Abe is smart in that regard. He takes the half eaten cheeseburgers to his room and eats them off the ironing board (in Vegas obviously, he doesn't go anywhere else.) This led to a discussion about bed eating which Angi does in hotel rooms therefore making those disgusting sheets even dirtier and Abe eats his on the edge of the bed (shirtless obviously.) For their contribution to the secret chat, Angi and Abe opened up about radio and they had two big points to push. Ready for a bombshell for the first, they might be DJ's in the technical sense but that's about it. They do not choose the music that is played, they just play what they are told (outside of special sections like KitC and Request Wars.) Which means when you ask for a song or complain about the setlist, your complaints are hitting where they need to land because control is not there. Also, as crazy as this will sound, radio personalities are not Ticketmaster. They don't get free tickets to everything, that's a myth that seems perpetuated by the idea that because they work there, tickets fall out of a magical faucet. News flash, they have to beg for tickets just like you're begging them for tickets and even then they sometimes only get like 1. Angi mentioned how when Lollapalooza rolls round, people come flying out of the woodwork. Then when you do have free stuff, it's a nightmare to give it away. People always want like 6, well how about 2? This led to a proclamation. This year Angi and Abe are out of the ticket business, so don't bother asking anymore. Moving on to the roadies, Kelly called to say don't eat the pickles on the plate at restaurants (noted and vomited.) Garbage men use the back of their truck as a toilet, after all trash is trash. One Legged Levy (what?) called in to mention he was a personal trainer for 5 years and guess what, he made up everything as he went along. There was no set routine, it was all of the top of his head and he was the best trainer ever. Matt made a point of further adding that they don't wash the sheets at hotels. Head Roadie Erin finished us off by adding that nurses fix the mistakes doctors make, usually when it comes to dosage in paperwork. They see something that seems off, return it to the doctor and make sure you're not accidentally killed.
All the Rest:
Unless you live under a rock (or in this case The Rock #slurpslurp) then you knew this past weekend was WrestleMania. The biggest WWE show of the year and to an extent, it lived up to the hype as the biggest venue filled with people (I'm assuming) since covid and had some truly excellent matches. That said, Abe went on to mention that Angi's boyfriend Randy Orton won his match against last week's special show guest Alexa Bliss, who proceeded to bleed black blood from a crown on her head (if you don't watch, then this sounds nuts, I know.) This led into a story about Abe working out at XSport yesterday and there being a goose who was creeping on the people inside the gym. This guy was like a security guard at Best Buy, keeping an eye out on all the going ons within. He was looking through all the windows, he was on the roof, Abe did not even know a goose could fly as he's never seen that happen and yet yesterday it all finally came together. Abe was genuinely scared of this very imposing goose. Which led to the final part of this hodgepodge of topics, Rocky the Rooster is the newest member of the Rock 95.5 staff. He is there to give out $1,000 bucks like 12 times a day until the station wastes its budget and then poor Rocky has it's head cut off to be given out as a prize for the eventual remix of The Envelope (probably on like Shark's show.)
Good news for Abe, the ladies and probably me as Angi announced that HBO Max has greenlit aMagic MikeTV show. The Real Magic Mike (I'm assuming this is the title) will take 10 dudes who have lost their magic and mojo and evolve them into male strippers. I mean if it works for Pokemon, sure why not. They will regain their mojo, confidence and compete for a cash prize and a chance to be in aMagic Mikelive show. After the shock wore off and Abe got his pants to stop swelling, Angi explained her issue with this. If this was a show about women pulling off their bra straps and getting their mojo back by taking their tits out, people would be absolutely furious. Yet when guys go full pickle, no one bats an eyelash. Abe totally agreed with her as he furiously signed up for HBO Max in the background. Apparently though the world has just gone nuts. Abe was watchingThe View(hard pause, random blinking.) Correction, he was watching a "clip" (sure Gaybe) ofThe Viewand it was about two of the women on there lusting after the duke fromBridgerton. He wanted to know why they can act like that and be out of control but he can't talk about girls like that. It's a double standard and it's total bull. More so, Hoda (from Hoda and Kathy Lee fame) was going on about Matthew McConaughey being hot but if it was Abe saying stuff like that, he's a pig. Angi steered things back saying she doesn't care about male strippers even though she dated one whose gimmick was a Rocky impersonator. The thing is though, she married an actual boxer type and Jay the Straight has worn those cute little shorts to bed for her once.
Finally, Angi was curious about dream jobs that the listeners might want to get their hands on. For example, Angi's would be drinking wine all day and watching The Real Housewives franchises (wait, she said dream job right, not what she does when the show ends and she goes home?) This was brought on by the MLB, who are looking to hire a food tester. This amazing opportunity would have you basically going to games and eating/testing different foods they offer while indulging in baseball. So, Angi was curious, if you could have a gig, be it something that exists or something that only lives in your silly little head, what would it be. Darren said he would love to be the guy who gets to oil and glitter the strippers. Roger wants to be the person who gets to drive the Oscar Meyer weiner mobile. Tim would love to be able to test out all the new strains of weed. Katie wants to be the personal jockstrap measurer for sports teams (seriously, where do you get this job?) Abe would want to create something called The Sub Show (an offshoot of The Slob Show,) where he would get to try new subs and play poker all day. Angi wants to retire and play black jack. This led them into a discussion about going to the casino every Friday, which was shot down because Abe will always have an excuse. He needs to repair something in The Ivory Tower, he was moving into The Ivory Tower, Cathy Glass was run over by a truck, you name it. The reality, he's just poor. The idea then evolved into card counting and code words involving cheese sandwiches because you wouldn't expect anything less on this show. My dream job would be to be on The Angi Taylor Show and I'd finally get paid in all those meatballs I've been promised since day 1, ffs!
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Joe
Challenger Song Choice: "Young Lust"
Champion Song Choice: "Walk"
Observation: What's with Request Wars and swearing, people just can't stop. They both had pretty hot one liners I must say but I'm siding with Shannon on this because she went brutal and the song choice is better (and hasn't already been used on Request Wars already ... cough.)
Winner: Shannon
The 8:30 Call Out:
Abe called out people who walk with their arms folded.
Angi called out her friend Elizabeth for not calling her back.
Marcy called out her boss for not being tech savvy.
Head Roadie Ferrari called out Angi and Abe for making all the listeners feel included and creating a family for us.
Jay the Gay called out the person who made his walls shake at 3 A.M. with their pounding bass outside (I later learned it was Angi.)
10 o' Clock Toast:
The WWE. What they did this past weekend was amazing. Sure, she was annoyed that Jay the Straight ignored her but they put on a great show.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I was downloading "Forever" by Jesse and the Rippers, the He-Man theme, theFull Housetheme." - Abe
Quote: "I hate when a hot woman is dating a guy with old balls." - Abe
Quote: "I'm sick of people feeling bad for old guys who give money to women." - Abe
Quote: "How can you (Abe) watch anything for 4 and a half hours?" - Angi
Tidbit: Angi and Abe are out of the ticket business this year.
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Scott, Head Roadie of Beards.