Abe

Abe

Abe Kanan was born and raised on the south side of Chicago and grew up hanging out at Metro, Aragon, Riv, and all of Chicago’s music venues, checking...Full Bio

 

Angi Taylor Show Recap with Jay the Gay - 1-22-2021

This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Points:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed and may contain things that were cut for time.)

Oh god, we've made it to another Chainsaw Friday and it couldn't come soon enough. It's freezing cold outside and the only things that are going to warm me up is Dunkin' right now and Jack when noon rolls around. Luckily, we had two kicks in the crotch today to get us that motivation we so badly needed.

So, let's start off with a question because those are my favorite things. Is it normal to shower with your face to the showerhead when you shower or do you do it with your back to the shower? As dumb as this question sounds, there was an actual debate about it that led to this discussion. Angi does it facing the showerhead, as does Abe unless he has to turn to wash his ass. It was in this little turn that we received a revelation. It seems Abe has a secret fortune as he has two loofahs. Mr. Moneybags over here has one for his face/body and the other is for his ass and prizes. Angi, like most of us I'd assume, thought that this was just weird. This also led to another question, do you wash your feet in the shower? Angi and Abe both do but his assumption is that most people haven't bent over since they were 16. Listener Steve called in to up the discussion to sitting in the shower, which he discovered 3 people he knows do. Angi said that she'll sit in the shower but only when she's hungover (so like every day, got it.) It was then revealed that even though Abe got hit with the pendulum for having two loofahs, Angi has a bench in her shower. To her defense, she did steal it from someone dibs spot but still. Anyway, after a little back in forth where Abe seemingly developed a crush on Steve, we were left where we started (which was essentially taking not much away from this discussion.) I felt that I needed to add one more point into this. How about your legs, do you wash your legs? This is another interesting thing where I've heard people just assume it's more of a trickle down effect and there's no reason to wash their legs in the shower (e.g. Taylor Swift.) Either way, that's your big discussion piece for the day.

Moving onward to Abe's Best Bet of the Week: Playoff Edition (Undefeated.) That's right it's back as the season is winding down and it's here to make you some sweet sweet cash. Are you going to be like Jay the Straight and get yourself some money this week or will you blow another chance at getting rich? So here's what you need to do: take all that money you were going to use buying extra loofahs and a bench for your shower, sue Dana White for spying on you, and this is for you Jay the Straight, cash out your daughter's college fund. That's right, take all that money and put it on this week's best bet, which is to take the Green Bay Packers - 3 against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Keep in mind, we all hate Green Bay but we want that paper. Also, if you lose, you have no right to complain.

Finally, if you could have one thing delivered to you when you press a tiny red button, what would it be? I assumed the obvious answer was the sweet release of death but boy was I off slightly. This question was posed after it was revealed that the red button former president Donald Trump had in the White House was removed. That button was used to summon a butler who would deliver upon him one can of Diet Coke on a silver platter. If Angi could get something, it would be a bottle of her favorite wine Ménage à Trois Silk. Abe would have a sub delivered to him. Listener Joe wanted a can of PBR. Head Roadie Gear Jammin Jeffery wants a can of Dr. Pepper. Kevin wanted a can of Miller Lite. Now, if I was to be given that button, it would be pink and it would send me a bottle of Jack, a chainsaw, mozzarella sticks and be delivered by a hot guy wearing an open dress shirt and boxer shorts.

Request Wars:

Current Champion: El Rockquero (x2)

Challenger Song Choice: "Still of the Night"

Champion Song Choice: "Angel of Death"

Now this is exactly what we needed on a Friday morning. Some really good smack talk, great song choices and one of those was just an absolute kick right in the goods. This one was not even close.

Winner: Mark

Other Topics:

Have you heard of Moonbean? If you haven't then this will be news to you. Annoying, grating and just plain invasive news but news nonetheless. This is a bracelet that you wear at work to let your boss know how you're feeling. It's two simple buttons, yellow and blue. Are you feeling happy and chipper, press the yellow. Feeling sad and down, press the blue button. Angi and Abe were immediately against this idea and I can't help but agree with them. This seems to just be a stupid idea all around honestly. They personally feel like this would be too much responsibility. The irony being that the concept of this is for your boss to be able to check in on you without making any effort. Abe says that he would just repeatedly press the yellow button to fake happiness. Angi still was not sold and was completely against the whole thing. Abe then capped it off by explaining that if you pressed blue, the boss would think you're suicidal.

Drunk Ninja News! returned today with a girl and a young one at that. In fact, she reminded Angi of a young version of herself. Anyway, this messy 18 year old bitch got drunk, climbed up on a McDonald's counter and started twerking on it. When the cops arrived, she ran into the bathroom so she could talk about it on Instagram. She explained that she wanted to get a mop and bucket for her WAP but ended up with a court date instead. After escaping the bathroom, she assaulted the officers as well so yeah, jail it is for this dummy.

Lastly, we revisited the reddit thread Am I the A-Hole? (AITA?) This time though we weren't looking at another but our beloved Angi, who thought she was doing her best Angry Bob impression by purposely deactivating her voicemail on her phone. Her reasoning, she just doesn't want to deal with them. Abe sort of seconded her point by asking "honestly, who leaves voicemails?" Angi's feelings were if you really wanted to talk to her, you could text her and she would get back to you. This, of course, led to Abe creating dumb scenarios why should we need it involving payphones and broken hospital phones. Angi came to the conclusion that she's not in the wrong. In fact, after the discussion Abe decided he might do the same. The only people that tend to leave him voicemails are spam callers and bookies. My thought, go for it, I have mine turned off as well, I'm not dealing with that garbage. If you want to reach me, you know how.

10 o' Clock Toast:

Hank Aaron. Legendary Atlanta Brave, Record Holder and Home Run King.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

Quote: "Do they even make CD's anymore?" - Angi

Quote: "The idea of you (Abe) eating chicken wings with your shirt off is hot." - Angi

Quote: "What if there's like a new covid, like movid?" - Abe

Quote: "You know how I know you're (Abe) gay, you love Jesse and the Rippers." - Angi

Quote: "Like Danzig, you and I could be together." - Abe

Head Roadie: Amanda - Head Roadie of Special Needs Parents